Just a quick note this morning while Sully is happy for a few minutes in his jumper. He is "talking" away. I keep joking with Ryan that once he really does learn to talk I will be more exhausted than ever because I honestly think he will talk ALL day. "Mom, did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds? Mom, why is the sky blue? Mom. Mom. Mom! Mommy! Mama mama mama! How come you are pulling your hair out?"
Just kidding and back on topic...
Mornings when I don't have anywhere to be I try to get up before Sullivan. I turn on the Keurig and pick out whatever coffee I feel suits me that morning. Lately, I've been on a total Starbucks Veranda kick. I add the half and half and usually one packet of NuStevia. I sit at the dining room table and I meet with God. Lately my time with Him has been focused on me asking Him what to pray for Sullivan. Today was spent praying for some very loved and special people in my life. And about a half hour later I heard Sully wake up. Normally he will just talk and giggle and coo in his crib until I get him. But this morning was a little different.
This morning he woke up crying. Sometimes he settles back to sleep so I waited a few minutes. When I knew he was up for good I grabbed his bottle and started to get it ready. I like to be able to get him up and changed and dressed and then bring him down and give him his bottle right away. So, he was crying and I was getting his bottle ready.
And I felt the Holy Spirit nudging my spirit with this verse,“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15. I immediately thought about how Sully, alone in his crib, crying out for me to be picked up, held, changed and snuggled, didn't know that his mother was downstairs listening to his cries. He didn't realize that not only was I hearing Him but that I was actually in the process of preparing what he needed for the morning. I was acting on his behalf. But he didn't know. He felt lonely. He felt ready to be out of his crib and into a new place. He wanted his circumstances to change.
I had not forgotten him. And as the Holy Spirit nudged me I thought about the countless times I've been in Sully's place. A place that felt very lonely. A place that I was ready to be done with. And a place where no matter how loud I cried out it had seemed as if God had forgotten me.
I know I'm not alone. I read the Psalms and I know that David had felt it, too. I have friends that are in that place right now. Here is the truth. Whatever hard season you are in, God hears your cries. He knows just what you are saying to Him by either your words or actions. Be encouraged that just as Sully couldn't see me working diligently to get his bottle ready, we don't always see God working in the midst of us. Your season may be taking everything out of you right now. God has not forgotten you. He has compassion on you. He's working in and through you and He will have ready whatever you need whenever you need it. It may not be what you think you need. But it will be what you really, truly need.
Take courage today, sweet soul, to keep trusting Jesus. He is for you. He has not forgotten you.