Friday, January 31, 2014

Dear Sullivan (17 Months)

My Dear, Sweet Sullivan,

Here I sit at this computer, having just put you down for a nap.  "Night, Night," as we have begun to call it to help you understand the concept.  And I hear you "talking" up there.  You are most likely playing with the three, no, I think it's four as of today, stuffed animals in your crib.  And my heart is smiling.

It's been a while since I've written you but it's more because we are busy doing life together not at all because there is a lack of anything in my heart that I want to pour out to you.  Trust me, sweet boy, on that one.

Today I just want to tell you what a blast I had at the play museum with you.  I love watching you run and discover and watch other little kids.  The world is still so new and so fresh and so exciting to you.  I love that.

Here are a few things I'd like to tell you:

1) You are going to be a big brother!  I know you don't grasp that yet.  But you touch my belly and I say "baby".  You are a little obsessed these days with belly buttons so I find myself saying, "baby," a lot.  I think you will be an awesome big brother.  You already have this sweet, happy (most of the time) disposition.  This kid will be incredibly blessed to have you looking out for him/her (we find out this week if it will be a boy or girl!).

2)  You already have a tender heart towards animals.  Especially dogs.  You love dogs.  All dogs.  Even the dogs who aren't particularly fond of you.  You kiss Cole about 1,000 times a day.  You get that from me.  As you grow and you desire to shoot a deer, that will be from your father, but your love of all things cute and furry is from me.  And I think you think Cole is your older brother.  Sometimes you two act like siblings.  You roughhouse.  You try to hit him.  And I've caught you a few times biting him.  When I scold you, you lean over and kiss him.  Is that your way of saying you're sorry?

3)  Today I witnessed your first experience with a bratty kid.  I know there have probably been ones before this.  But this one I saw.  This little girl was being a brat.  She wouldn't let you play with anything at the play museum in the area where she was.  She ripped a paintbrush out of your hand.  It didn't phase you.  When she then tried to take the plastic pipe away you wound up like you were going to hit her (and you probably were).  I yelled your name and you put down the pipe. Then, just like you do with the dog, you leaned in to kiss her.

She ran to her mom and told her three times how, "That little boy," hit her on the head.  Oh, you know the mama bear in me started to wake.  I kept my cool and a sweet grandmother who witnessed everything piped up and said she was a witness that it did not happen.  The mom dismissed everything and I just rolled my eyes.

Someday, Sullivan, you'll be old enough to know when kids are being mean.  Hear this, I have prayed since you were just months old that God would work in you and through you and that you would be the type of kid who loves people well, even the hard to love ones.  I pray that Jesus' voice would be louder than any other voice you hear.  Because Jesus' voice is always one of love. I pray that you would stand firm in who Jesus says you are because there will be many mean kids throughout your life.  There will be many things that will want to define you or label you.  Never let those voices define you.  You are so much more.

You are my sweet, strong, brave, capable, thoughtful, compassionate, joy-filled, full of life kid.  You keep your eyes on Jesus and your feet following Him.  And should you ever feel alone, unloved or a little lost, Dad and I are here to remind you just where you've been, who you are and Whose you are.

With all of my heart,
Your Mama