Thursday, March 14, 2013

Day 20 The Legacy of a Mom

What is going on with all the sickness going around?  Last week we battled the stomach bug this week Sully's got a horrible cough and snot coming out of his nose 24/7.  To quote my husband, "I thought it was a booger, but itsnot."  Ha!  Love that old man humor.

Keep on track, Danielle.  Keep on track.  So, tonight I put Sully down for bed.  And he woke up a few times.  I recently went in and picked him up.  I don't normally do this since we were really pro sleep training. And it worked since he can put himself back to sleep.  But I know he's not feeling well and I just wanted to comfort him.  So, I scooped him up and he just laid his little head on my shoulder.  I melted.

My mama heart was bursting!  It's been months since he's done this.  It used to happen the first two months all the time.  I would get up to nurse him and it was part of our routine.  But it's been so long, I realized how much I missed that sweet little boy's head on my shoulder.

I sat in the glider in his room to savor this moment.  To just be.  My baby in my arms, asleep.  And I sang a song to him.  And then I recited the line from that book, the one that every mother with a son has, "I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."  I smiled.  And then I started to cry.

I thought how really, as long as he is alive, I will always be his mama.  Even when I get to go home to Jesus I will still be his mama.  There will not be a day he walks this earth where that won't be true.

I thought about the legacy I can leave my son.  I thought about the things I do now that would live on long after I'm gone.  I have a friend and his mom passed away when he was  young.  Her memory is precious.  She left a legacy.  I didn't have that with my mom.  I don't have that.  What she left me was more hurt than love.  More what not to do's than how to's.  I don't want that for Sully.

As moms we have this incredible gift to shape our kids.  To love them.  To mold them.  To see their potential, their light, their personalities and to train them up and build them up and send them out into a world that is in desperate need of people that speak truth, live out grace and are humble.  The world doesn't need more people that believe they are worthless, or live to only fulfill their own desires.

So, here is what I want my son to know.  To believe.  To carry with him all his days on this earth.

Dear Sullivan,

I love you to the moon and back.  Don't you ever doubt that.  And although you mean more to me than you will ever be able to know (well, until you have a child of your own), the world does not, nor should it, revolve around you.  I don't mean that to sound harsh, my sweet boy.  But what this world needs is more people that are set on loving others even though there is a cost.  It needs less people trying to satisfy needs that things in this world can never satisfy and more people that are set to fix their eyes on Jesus, love as He loved, to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God.

You are strong enough.  You are enough.  Because God created you.  Because He loves you.  Because His promise is to never leave you or forsake you.  When you are weak, He is strong.  Be a voice of truth in the midst of so much junk, so many lies.  Be a man of grace and don't hold a grudge.

Love well.  Whatever you do, do it well.  Choose your words wisely.  Invest in your family.  Have fun but not at others expense.  Laugh.  Laugh a lot.  Smile because you have the BEST smile.  And know, please, please know, I have prayed for you all the days of your little life.  And long after I am gone, my prayers for you will live on.

I hope to spend many, many, many more years with you building a legacy.  I love you.  to pieces.  to the moon and back.

Your Mom

My 20 days of being real has come to an end.  My plan is to keep blogging.  My hope is that you will keep reading.  And my encouragement to you today is this:  You are enough.  You are loved.  You were created for a purpose.  Love well.  Leave a legacy.

Be blessed today sweet reader.  Be blessed.